There's no place like.....home?

     We moved into our new digs on Feb 1st. Get this. It's an over 55 community for the "active adult." C'mon man. I still laugh at farts. But, like it or not....believe it or not....I just turned 61. I enjoy getting older. I don't enjoy some of the aches and pains but what're ya gonna do? It's just that everyone here is....old.  But I have to admit. I'm diggin' it. I've never lived in a place like this. I've always live in "country funk" kind of places. Our last place was an old grist mill on a river across from a winery and Alpaca farm. Floods, stink bugs, bats, loss of power....but....cool. This place is new construction, town house type, clubhouse across the street, "activities" and....nice people. And, I guess, my people. Linda was a good sport dealing with life on the river for a few years so I owed her one. And I'm now a believer.
     Home is indeed where the heart is. I don't think I've ever been unhappy anywhere. At least, not because of the surroundings. I've lived in band houses, dorm rooms, room mates, no room mates and it all comes down to....me. I've heard people who've "made it" tell stories of how the happiest time of their life was when they were living in a three floor walkup in Brooklyn eating baloney sandwiches. Was it really? Or was it just that rose colored glasses thing? Does it matter?
     And it is about the journey. Right? I've mentioned this before...somewhere. But twenty, twenty five, thirty years ago....living in Piscataway....I'd wished/dreamed for certain things. I look around and they're....here. Mostly. Weird. When I pray, it's not for riches or celebrity or.....any of that. Just a small step up in a few areas and being able to recognize the opportunities that'll take me there.  I think that's half the battle. Not to say, "Go away! I'm busy!" when opportunity knocks.
     I still have this crazy feeling that the best is yet to come. Why? I don't know! But I don't know how people live without that feeling. That "Is that all there is?" thing must be depressing. If I ever get there I'll let you know. One thing I do know. You can't always get what you want. Buy if you try some time...you just might find....you get what you need. Thanks Mick.     Peace.

What....me worry.......

    So the Yankees didn't make it this year. That's it! I'm done! They're dead to me!!.....until next year. Ahhhh spring. New beginnings. Awakening aromas from the nearby Alpaca farm. And ......opening day. Everyone's a winner. Everyone's batting 1,000. We just have to get through a World Series I don't really care about, Halloween, a presidential election, Thanksgiving, Christmas, snowstorms, Easter and then,,,,opening day. Man, that sounds like a long way off.

    My grandmother used to tell me time goes by quicker as you get older. Who woulda thought she was right!? I can imagine that spring's right around the corner. And it's not even November yet!

    Life on the river's been good. Lots of music at the Winery across the street and lot of gigs. I've been doing some interesting gigs with The High Bridge All Stars. Rotating cast, of course. And 've been playing with my old pals Stolen Hearts now and then. And it looks like I'll be doing some solo gigs soon. Not my favorite thing but I gotsta woik.

    Playing my bass has become so easy. Maybe....... relaxed is a better word. I've been working with some online lessons and it feels good to practice again. New ideas....... new techniques. I wish I had taken the whole music thing seriously when I was younger. But when you're twenty, and it's the 60's/70's, girls, beer and ....other things....aren't necessarily a priority..... but go hand in hand with giggin' 5 or 6 nights a week. The music, gigs...friends...have always been good. Even if I didn't realize it sometimes.

    Had a cool getaway a couple of weeks ago to the Outer Banks in north Carolina. Some old pals and lot of playin' and singin'. What's life without playin' and singin? You have to let that little kid inside you out every now and then. I saw that one of my Facebook friends had a picture of her sitting in a tree. You go, girl! On my radio show I always encourage people to climb a tree, kiss a dog, roll in the grass...... and stick your face right in it. I bet the smell of "ground" will give you a great flashback. I was walking around Round Valley Reservoir a couple years ago and couldn't resist climbing one of those great evergreens. It's like natures ladder. I got a good way up when a friendly couple decided to stop under the tree and express their fondness for each other. Before things went too far they moved on and I came down.

    I seemed to have missed the grow up gene. I can't explain it but it's too late now, I guess. Uh oh...The Three Stooges are on. ....Peace.

What.....you don't believe me...?

I'm was sitting in a bar the other day and the weirdest thing happened. A gorilla walked in and took a seat a few stools down. Now I thought this was kinda strange, but ok. So the bartender, Jimmy, walked over and asked him what he'd have. To our amazement he said," I'll have a Bud light....bottle." This was gettin' interesting. As Jimmy was getting the beer the gorilla put a ten dollar bill on the bar, looked up at the TV and just as Mariano was coming in for the Bronx Bombers, he looked over at me and said, "How the Yanks doin'?" I stammered, "Uh, They're up one run." Jimmy delivered his beer, picked up the ten spot, gave me a wink and returned with fifty cents change for our simian friend. I could see what Jimmy was pulling but just kept watching the game. A few minutes later the gorilla said,"Let's do it again" and pulled out another sawbuck.

Jimmy did his bartender thing, delivered the Bud, picked up the ten and with another wink towards me returned with fifty cents change. Another half inning went by, the gorilla got Jimmy's attention, pointed to his beer, pulled out another ten dollars and placed it on the bar. As Jimmy put the beer down he said, Ya know.....we don't get many gorillas in here." To which the gorilla replied," At $9.50 a pop......I'm not surprised." True story.

"If my words did glow......."

"Well the first days are the hardest days. Don't you worry anymore. 'Cause when life looks like easy street there is danger at your door. Think this through with me. Let me know your mind. Wo - o, what I want to know, is are you kind."

These are the opening lines from "Uncle Johns Band," a Grateful Dead tune written by Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter. Jerry certainly seemed like a kind soul. The Dead had/have an aura of kindness swirling about them. Bob Weir can get a little contentious at times but I think that weird macrobiotic diet of his has a lot to do with it. The guy's hungry. Somebody give him a cheeseburger! Are you kind? Am I kind? How important is kindness? It's only everything. I just had my sixtieth birthday and this idea of being kind that's dashed in and out of my consciousness for most of my adult life has finally taken root. Maybe reality TV and CNN's nightly visions of man's inhumanity to man has guided some synaptic pathways to zig instead of zag towards an area of enlightenment. I definitely......feel more.

When I was a kid I was always the guy who went back to the guy we were just pickin' on and tried to convince him we were just messin' with him and then hang out for a while. A conscience is a vile thing. I never wanted to really hurt anyone. I don't know if I put out that vibe or if it was really there. I had a reputaion for being tough but never got into fights; for being smart but was, on a good day, a solid C student; for being athletic but was mediocre at best. It depended on what group I was hanging with and who was the recipient of the vibe. I easily wound my way through the jocks, the freaks, the geeks etc. The geeks were good for tutoring when needed, the jocks were always good for some football, baseball or....protection if needed. The freaks were a lot of fun on the weekend. And I like to think I brought a little something to the party. It was always weird when I'd be out with one group and run into another group. I was a musician all through junior high school and high school and different groups would converge at my gigs on the weekend. At break time I'd have a little Carter/Begin/Sadat thing going. Detante was alive and well at Friendship Hall. One of my chess club pals actually started dating one of my cheerleader pals! To their credit they didn't give a hoot about public opinion and had a pretty good high school run. I can't really say I thought much about it at the time. It all just seemed natural.

I've hurt people in my life. Unintentionally. That's something that can wear you down. An early life lesson is this. It's a lot easier to get over being hurt than to get over hurting. I can still bring up a memory of a girl I broke up with in ninth grade and feel an unpleasant pang. But then I think of a girl who broke my heart when I was twenty and.....nothing! It's all about forgiveness; for yourself ....and others. Is it easy? No. Necessary? Hell to the yes!!

Kindness. It's how you carry yourself and react to situations. Is it better to ignore the drunk who's requested Freebird for the tenth time at the top of his lungs and is hitting on your girlfriend the whole night? Taking him outside may give you some momentary pleasure. But it's not like the movies. These situations can also involve police and hospitals. Bad karma. That doesn't mean there aren't times. There are. Then it's back to the wall and no holds barred mother &#*#%^!! But it's so much more pleasant to let someone think they won......when you know the truth.

The older I get (Did I mention I just turned sixty?) the easier it is to smile and walk away. Good karma. Did you ever see "My Name Is Earl?" It's about a guy who's done some bad things, has an epiphany, makes a list of all the people he's wronged and spends his life trying to bring his own karma back into alignment. Karma almost becomes a character. Hijinks ensue, lessons are learned and I'm not sure how it turned out 'cause I only see the occasional rerun. It's worth a quick You Tube watch.

You've heard,"Why do bad things happen to good people?" On the other hand why do good things happen to bad people? I have to believe it all shakes out in the end. Where the end is............?

Kindness. One little bit of it from us can make such a difference to some one else. The Grateful Dead have always let fans record their shows. They even had/have a special area set up near the soundboard just for the taping community. "Mics in the air....gentlemen start your recorders!" Thanks Jerry. You'll know your opportunity when it presents itself. You don't have to be Mother Teresa. I'm sure even mother Teresa had days when it was tough to be Mother Teresa; when she'd yell at someone,"Hey ....go do it yourself slacker.......what am I....Mother Teresa?!?! Oh............um......yeah......my bad."

Our world is so contained. The office. The highway. The supermarket. The home. Friends. Relatives. Wives. Husbands. Kids. Here's your assignment. Try to let a random act of kindness sneak into each day this week. Man, it'll make you feel good. Just keep it to yourself and enjoy the glow. I'll bet..............Hey....what the.... Some idiot's trying to snatch my parking space. "GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE YOU *#%$^& &^*# *#$% #$^*#*^!!!!!!!!!!!......" Uh....gotta go. Peace.

Hey, Mister Spaceman....

I'm gettin' itchy to meet a galactic neighbor. The time feels right. Don't ask me why. The question of extraterrestrial life comes up fairly regularly in my conversations; I guess because I probably instigate it. The last two or three times it's come up I was met with the response, "I don't think there's anyone out there." That's amazing to me...because I'm so convinced they ARE out there. Maybe it's all those Saturday afternoons watching pods turn into people or trips to a Forbidden Planet or even laughing at Plan 9 From Outer Space. Hey, even an eight year old kid can see they changed Bela Lugosi's mid flick. And now it's day....whoops....now it's night..uh oh.... day again. Or maybe it's the late night radio shows I've been running into. Ninety percent of that conversation I don't buy into. I can't say they're wrong. I always say, and will continue to say, ANY THING'S possible. I just....don't buy into most of it. I'm not even sure we've ever been observed or visited. I'm just sure they're out there. All those great Sci fi movies, as cool as they were, always left me a little cold. I mean, I wanted them to land in my back yard.

Then the question comes up, "Well, why haven't they visited us?" The simple answer is I don't know. No one does. But I have a couple of theories. One is distance. Earth like planets have been discovered a few stars away from us. Ten.....fifteen years ago the big question was,"Are there any other planets out there?" Now we know there are. Many. That doesn't mean there's any kind of life out there....but it doesn't mean there isn't, either. But to get to the closest one, traveling at or near the speed of light, is a generational trip. And that's just tooling around in our own cosmic neighborhood. And the ability to reach anything close to the speed of light is a long way off. Talk to Einstein. So barring the invention of warp drives or wormhole shortcuts or inter dimensional pathways, it may simply be a matter of leapfrogging our way across the galaxy; a colony here, move on, a colony there, move on, etc. And once we get done with the two hundred billion stars in our galaxy, we can move on to the two hundred billion stars in each of the two hundred billion other galaxies. That' a lot of planets, man. And take these numbers with a grain of salt. Give or take a few billion either way.

My other theory is maybe they've been watching and observing for a long time but have no desire to interact. Could it be we're.....boring? Maybe it's that Star Trek prime directive thing where they can't interfere with a species' natural evolution. Or they're just sizing us up; sittin' back and watching.....seeing if we're gonna make the cut. Maybe whoever's in charge of this whole eternal universe thing set it up so we CAN'T reach each other. He's given us the tools to cruise around our own cosmic block but no further. As if to say, "Look around, have fun, but tend to your own garden." You can almost see the girl's camp across the lake...but not quite. Curiosity, the latest Mars rover, took off this morning. It's exciting stuff. But TOO SLOW!!! Can someone please invent impulse power NOW?!

I love watching Nova or tales about the evolution of the universe on the History Channel but the frustrating thing is it always turns out the same. Maybe they're there. Maybe they're not. It's like watching the guys chasing the ghosts. Just show me video of a ghost standing there, wouldja. Not something in the dark at the end of the room for a second and a half that's probably a reflection or a shadow. I guess they can hear it saying "Get Out," but all I hear is static. And I've got a wild imagination. I definitely heard John say,"I buried Paul" at the end of Strawberry Fields. When I was fifteen that was a head turner; till I found out he meant Paul was buried in the mix of the album. Dang, skunked again. So we seem to think they're out there..... but....... the old back and forth.

That doesn't stop me from going out at night and throwing out an open invitation to the universe. So far, no response. I don't think anything landed in Roswell, I don't think there's been any alien abductions ...or autopsies. I don't think the government knows anymore than anyone else. And if they do....quit worrying about the panic in the streets scenario. We can handle it. I think.

This quote has been attributed to a few different folks, Isaac Asimov among them. I like it. "The universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it's stranger than we can imagine." Put that in your phaser and fire it. Peace.

Then...and then...and now.....

Well..... here we are once again. Mid August. A remembrance of a little party that went on in Bethel Woods and was named for the nearby town of Woodstock, NY. Can it be forty two years?!? I didn't go to the show in 1969. I did go this weekend. At my age you have to grab your adventures wherever you find them. My band had a gig at a wedding "celebration" in a town about a half hour south of Bethel Woods....two and a half hours from my home in NJ. I had it in the back of my mind that I might stay in the area that night and visit the site the next day.
This was a good weekend. Had a good gig with the boys at a local pub Friday night. I left plenty of time to get to the Saturday gig 'cause I figured I'd probably find myself off the beaten path a few times. I did. But with the aid of some good samaritans I found myself back on track and in plenty of time for the gig. It was a good bash! So we're lined up in three cars to pull out afterwards. They went right. I called an audible and went left. Some locals had given me the info I needed to carry out my pilgrimage. I got a room about fifteen minutes up the road in Monticello. Woodstock....Bethel Woods was about fifteen minutes further north.
The next morning I ventured out and soon I was at .....WOODSTOCK...!!!!!!!...aka The Bethel Woods Music and Arts Center. A huge rock with the logo beckoned me to come in. (Cue CSNY..."By the time I got to........") There was a kid working at one of the parking lots waiting for the crowd for a show that night. I asked him who was playing and he said,"Nobody I know." Turns out it was Blood, Sweat and Tears, Tommy James and the Shondells and The Family Stone...minus Sly. Everybody I know. I wasn't sticking around anyway and just needed directions to the site. He seemed a little foggy on what I was looking for, even though it was only a quarter mile or so down the road.
At this point I have to say a nice job was done with the preservation of the concert site. The drive in from the main road was idyllic and empty. I got to the end of the road, a little past the Museum and on my right....there it was. No one around. I mean no one. And this was the anniversary weekend! I turned the corner and pulled in. Tiny little parking area. It was an overcast day and the surrounding countryside was geen, expansive and....smelled good. An arbor led the way in. I'm not sure but I think pixies were throwing flowers in front of me. I came out to a large rock with the Woodstock logo and a list of all the bands and a few words about the weekend. In front of me was Yasgur's farm. Just to the left was the footprint of the stage. The hill that had been filled with half a million people lo those many years ago went up and out and all around from there. Gardens and a few small seating areas and.....me and the ghosts. (the wind?) I've heard the complaint that "they" (the man?) won't let you on the site anymore. Well there's a fence preventing you from walking down to the stage. But even the fence is a tasty wooden Woodstocky type fence. And it's ALL the site, anyway. I climbed over the fence, walked in a ways and took a seat. Power to the people, man.
I sat there for about forty five minutes and a real sense of the spiritual wrapped itself around me. I felt like I was in church. But it was starting to get a little weird. As it should. Was it my imagination or was that The Who I was hearing? Whoa. That's definitely The Who. Turns out it was a sound check from one of the concert venues a few hundred yards away. Dang! A few "check...one...twos" confirmed it. (Stay away from the brown acid!) As I was leaving I had a nice conversation with a couple folks who snuck in while I was "praying." They were from my neck of the woods here in Jersey and said they come up every year. I asked them where all the hippies were. They said camping used to be allowed on the site (there's the man with his boot on the back of your neck, AGAIN!!) but had been moved to down the road where a friendly tavern owner allowed camping on his property.
I wasn't gonna stop at the museum. But I did. And I'm glad I did. After you wind your way through the Bethel Woods gift shop ($45 tie dyed tee shirt, anyone?) you wind up in the museum, which is really laid out well and very cool. One big theater and a few smaller screens, lots of lounging areas with big bean bag chairs,the magic bus, posters, memoribilia, interactive stations, and a recording booth where you can leave a remembrance of.... whatever. So there I am, forever in posterity in the little recording booth archive at the musem in the Bethel Woods Music and Arts Center. I was the only one in the Theater watching the Woodstock documentary (akin to Charlton Heston in The Omega Man. Google it.) and the only one sitting in the back of the Magic Bus for the tour. All in all, very tastefully done......and peaceful.
As I was pulling out of town there was the road with the strange name my jersey pals told me about. I pulled down the road and entered 1969. My brothers and sisters. All ages and sizes. Lots of gray. Lot of peace signs being thrown at me. Lots of music, campfires and hippies. And there it was. A taste of the "feeling." I headed home.
PS
I started my Woodstock adventure blog back in August and finished it today. Sept 11th. As I'm writing this, the tv's on in the background as the names of victims of that day are being read by family members. The reading's been going on for almost three hours.
That morning I had just dropped someone off at Newark airport for a flight he would never get on. As I was leaving the airport, heading west on Rt. 78, billowing smoke filled my rear view mirrors, just as Stuttering John busted into Howard Stern's studio to announce that a plane had crashed in to the World Trade Center. I knew I was done for the day, and probably the rest of the week.
I watched the images from my apartment in Pittstown, NJ. I got there just in time to see the first tower fall. The thought of the lives lost, and the manner in which they were lost, made me physically ill. My first thoughts weren't of who did it... or let's get the bastards... or did we bring this on ourselves.....etc. I thought of little girls whose fathers wouldn't be coming home. Of wives who'd be wondering where, exactly, their husbands were at that moment. Many never finding out. Brothers looking for sisters, nephews looking for uncles, workers looking for co workers. Cars parked at NJ commuter rail stations that wouldn't be picked up for weeks. Did I know anyone in there? I did. It was just hard to think of revenge in the wake of so many innocents gone. I get into downtown NY regularly and the fact that the Freedom Tower has taken ten years to get going is .....discouraging.
The last few days have been filled with documentaries and various news reports of Sept 11th. The images never fail to bring up the emotions of that day. I'm glad I'm not the guy who has to come up with any answers. I don't have any. Just an ache in my heart for our....their....your..... loss. Almost four hours. The reading of names continues. They're up to S. Peace.

Women....Cant' live with 'em.........

Women are smart, beautiful, good under pressure, smell good and make our life as men a lot easier. There. I said it. The secret's out. I've always gotten along well with women. They're easy to talk to and I've been told they have an easy time talking to me. I always take that as a compliment. I remember on a gig break at Lily Langtry's in Old Bridge, NJ (They had a full size stuffed bear in the lobby....Judge Roy Bean and all...) I was shooting the breeze with a nice lady. As I was getting up for the next set she said, "Hey, I've known you for ten minutes...told you how much I weigh...how much I make...after taxes.....what I paid for my house after a small inheritance....how much that was....where I live and where I work. You ought to be an interrogater. I didn't even know how much I was giving up." I'm paraphrasing, but that's close. She left and I never saw her again. Maybe she thought I had too much on her. But this scenario has happened to me many times over the years. I don't try. I'm just....curious.

So I guess I'm easy to talk to. That's nice. Of course, sometimes I'm not interested and that's where my meager acting skills come into play. But generally, I like listening. How many times have broken hearted girlfriends of pals of mine poured their hearts out to me so I can make it all better. I can't tell them the truth. But I always tried to soften the blow.

I like women. I've managed to stay friends with ex girlfriends and my ex wife. That says a lot about them. I don't mean to give the impression that's a long list. It's not. I'm flattered...and amazed that any woman would want to be associated and seen in public with me. In high school I had a lot of girl "friends." That came in handy when I had my eye on someone and could send a gender friendly pal in to lay the ground work. Can that backfire? Sure. But that's the fun of it. But then I'd have to be the middle man for them. Can that backfire? Sure. Feets do your stuff.

As long as I can remember women have been there. My mother was there at my birth. My grandparents lived next door to the first house I remember at 616 Monroe Ave, Plainfield NJ. My grandmother and I became fast friends and I could always depend on her for a couple of cookies or a soda. My grandfather taught me how to play checkers, cards, field ground balls and about the importance of being able to hit to all fields.

My parents bought their own home around 1958 - 9 and after her husband died my aunt shared the place with us. Another woman I could always drop in on for a snack or some TV.

How many King Kongs, Son Of Kongs, The Things, The Crawling Eyes (Hey....It's an eye!!!! Poke It!!!!) etc.....did poor old Aunt Catherine sit through. She seemed to enjoy it and didn't mind telling me when my time was up.

My grandfather died in '60 and my grandmother moved in. Some architectural changes and I had my three favorite women in the same house. Lots of escapes. No one ever knew where I was. They just assumed I was ok. And there was my sister to keep me honest. We all had many summer nights sitting on the screened in porch as they knocked back a couple beers and watched the neighborhood comings and goings as I tried to decipher the female language. I don't remember my brother or father spending much time out there. We all needed our escapes. I tape recorded some of those evenings but they've slipped into the ether.

Once The Beatles and music took over I had a perfect escape in my grandmother's bedroom. She had....a record player!!!!! And man did she get sick of Twist and Shout! Years later, when I'd be leaving for the gig she'd always say, "Now ....do you have your banjo?" I gave up trying to explain it was a bass and just said, "Yeah, thanks Gram."

My brother was eight years older and my father was either working or volunteering ....(escaping...?).....at the Plainfield Rescue Squad. So it was me and the ladies most of the time. I've always said that I think I'm half chick. All these....feelings......make them stop!!!!! I had the best of both worlds growing up. Lots of guys to play baseball with, make rafts, climb trees, get into fights, irritate girls and just generally barely escape death every day. There were also lots of girls in the neighborhood that we had no problem hangin' out with....to a point. " What?.....You wanna play football with us? I ....don't think so."

My mother, aunt and grandmother are no longer around. Many times I've wished I could go back to one of those summer nights on the porch in Plainfield and join in the conversation. They....we.... laughed a lot. They were very generous to my friends. Post baseball games there'd always be lemonade for everyone. My grandmother spent the better part of an afternoon making her famous "Yum Yum Cake" for one of my pals. We just hung around waiting. A crowd gathered and that cake didn't last too long. I haven't run into that cake since.

West Sixth St. was a cool, everyone watched each others back kind of neighborhood. My father applied first aid to many, my mom chauffered and my grandmother cooked. My aunt was willing to chauffer but nobody'd get in the car with her. Except for me. I miss them. They weren't Jane Wyatt or June Cleaver.....but I miss them.

And so it goes. These days I'm lucky to be sharing life on the river with a beautiful, smart, caring woman whose four kids, I hope, appreciate her as much as I do. Hey guys! Let's tell them that every now and then. Peace.

ANOTHER year older?!?!

It's Christmas time in the city. Ring a freakin' ling. Christmas 2010.Well if this doesn't conjure up feelings....memories...dread....joy....church

...nuns....presents.

...girlfriends......snow....trees......you
get the idea. Seems like I was always doing Christmas/seasonal shows of one kind or another. First with the St Mary's Boys Choir....in four part harmony ....and later bars and/or party gigs with any number of bands. Ah...show biz.
A real sense of pressure builds up as the big day approaches, doesn't it?
Today is Christmas eve. The decorations are up. Shopping is done. Gifts
wrapped. Now....we wait. I've had some really special, fun Christmas Eves. A late night in Piscataway walking home from a friend's house in a still falling dead quiet snow. The only sound was the crunching of my steps. A visit from a buddy and his girlfriend and the eventual killing of a bottleof Amaretto. An after gig party in Bermuda with some new friends.......and a shaky moped ride home at 5 AM. Made it! A mid 70's Christmas eve gig at the Pittstown Inn......so crowded we had to sit on the stage at break time. Another gig with another band at a lodge in Hunter Mtn, NY. Snowmobiling through the woods and across a frozen lake. Man, I wish I'd have brought gloves. To this day the feeling hasn't quite come all the way back in one or two of my fingers. Or sitting at home with someone you love watching "A Christmas Carol" or "A Christmas Story." (You'll shoot your eye out!!) Feelings. Lots of 'em.
I remember one "eve" shopping for a Christmas tree with my mom and
watching her work the guy from fifty cents to a quarter. A quarter!!! The woman knew when to shop. We got the tree home. Soon my father(not the handiest of men) was standing on a ladder putting the final touches on the star as the ladder collapsed bringing down my father and an open can of paint.(I knew that was trouble) Then man met floor, breaking his arm. Ye -owch! Watching the dog lap up and then throw up the paint.....ahhhhhh.........."It's beginning to look a lot .....
Christmas day is just so unlike any other day. The streets are quiet. Even the birds and squirrels look different, as if they know......something. Anyone you run into gives you that Christmas day look. A look of
.........peace? I don't know. It's just different. I always try to get
outside by myself for a few minutes on Christmas day. Escape. Remember what the day is. Regardless of your beliefs.... it's someone's birthday. I just like to say Happy Birthday. Gotta problem with that? I love watching the look on someone's face when you know you nailed their present. Is it better....more fun.... to give than to receive? I don't know. But it's close. Then there's the post gifts/dinner/dessert letdown. It's palpable. The air goes out of the room. All that trouble....for this? Well......yeah. And we're gonna do it again next year. Starting a day or two earlier if things hold true to form.
As I mentioned somewhere else here in cyberspace, I lost my parents on NewYears eve...ten years apart. So in addition to all those other
feelings...there's that. But as I think back on fifty plus Christmas', I
always wind up smiling. I've been extremely lucky. Good friends...family. Most of the people I've been close to...."get it." (If you have to ask...maybe you don't?) The Jesus Christmas cartoon on SNL is a classic.You tube it. It'll make you smile. Merry Christmas. Peace.

Fuuurrrtherrrr....................

You can really tell you're getting old when you start seeing your past come around again. Case in point......band reunions. A lot of the old bands from the 60's and 70's have been reuniting ...successfully.... and it's pretty cool. I'm talking local Jersey bands. Kinderhook....The Doughboys...The Good Rats. Jersey had a great club scene in the 70's. A band could easily play seven nights a week if so inclined. My personal high was nine nights in a row including two afternoon gigs with a band called Sundown. Two guitars and a bass. A lean, mean, giggin' machine. Not a great band but not too bad. Lots of vocals. People love vocals. I love vocals. We used to overload the harmonies to get the girls out 'cause the boys would be right behind 'em. There's yer crowd. "Ooooh's" for bucks as we'd say. Crass?

Times, sensitivities, values have changed. For the better. My first full time band was Freewheelin'. Old pals who were in the right place at the right time playing the right kind of music. The mid seventies saw a big country rock boom on the Jersey scene, ala Flying Burrito Brothers, Poco, Grateful Dead, New Riders, etc. And we jumped on board. This was the stuff we were playing anyway and it appeared that the scene caught up to us. The drinking age was eighteen, liberality abounded and...... lots of gigs. But, and I've mentioned this in other blogs, I can't believe we survived. We did stupid things. We got around in a Volkswagen camper. Four guys, no seat belts, three in the front and one in the jump seat, jammed full of equipment, plenty of beer and other treats, working on harmonies all the way to the gig. Then we'd do it again at two o' clock in the morning......usually minus one or two guys. And, as trite as it sounds, everyone was doing it. Even if we got stopped by a cop he'd just give us a warning or confiscate the beer. Again, how did we survive? Well, we had my pal Rock at the wheel. He was Neal Cassady to our Merry Pranksters. (I refer you to Tom Wolfe's "The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test.") Unthinkable today....and rightly so. It really does make you think someone was watching. Freewheelin' was a good, rockin' crowd pleasin' dance band.....once on stage. It was the gettin' to the gig, startin' on time, makin' it back from breaks, publicity, dress, dealing with club owners thing that we could never quite get.

The aforementioned Kinderhook was the top of the line country rock band at the time and they kind of took us under their wing. They let us open for them a few times and would call us when they couldn't make a gig. Good dudes. We'd hang out at their house in Hackettstown, NJ, and eventually relocated to that area. Anyplace that would put us up for awhile and could sustain our marathon practice/party sessions was our home. Usually short lived. We would always overstay our welcome. Discretion and moderation were not in our vocabulary. Here's a classic example. We opened up for Kinderhook at a club called Casper's in East Brunswick, NJ. During the course of the night I was shootin' the breeze with Andy, their bass player. They'd just opened up for Poco in Central Park and it seemed like they were on their way. Even the guys in Poco were impressed. So Andy was telling me about the gig and the guys in Poco and how they're just like us and how they got invited to the after party........WHAT!!!!!! I said, "Whoa....what was that like?" Andy said,"Well, we decided not to go. We thought they were probably just being polite and we didn't really want to overstay our welcome....." And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Freewheelin' would have beaten Poco to the party, been the first ones in line at the buffet table sticking rolls and cheese in our pockets, ordering nothing but the top shelf booze, and probably been politely asked to leave at some point during the night. We weren't bad guys or malicious.... extremely friendly as a matter of fact. But we were young, caught up in the scene and most of the time...not in reality. Some friends didn't make it. We did.

I was talking to a bar owner at a gig a few weeks ago and he was feeling me out about getting the boys together for a gig. Believe it or not, everyone's still around. But I think it's one of those things that's better left...remembered. There's a couple other old bandmates from different bands that have contacted me about some reunion gigs. Some.....most.....better left un-reunioned. Everyone's doing it. We need a Woodstock for all the old fart Jersey bands! In the meantime, get out and see Kinderhood, The Doughboys, The Good Rats, Sam The Band, Cowtown, Frankie and the Bern and your particular old favorite. I'll bet they're around....in spirit, anyway. Peace.

Summertime....and the livin' WAS easy

Where'd the summer go?! I mean......where'd the summer go?!?! I remember when I was a kid, summer vacation seemed like it went on forever. Then, at some point, you realize it's basically two months and change. Depressing. But remember that feeling waking up on the first, second, third day of summer vacation and realizing...ohhh yeahhhh.....it's summertime, baby. West Sixth St in Plainfield, NJ was a cool place to spend summers. Middle class....I guess....lots of kids....different age ranges. I was kind of in the middle so depending on the days action I could float among the different groups. Monopoly or Stratego with Stanley on his porch. That could kill a half day. His mom didn't trust me as far as she could throw me but as long as we were in sight it was cool. Bike adventures to the local parks or card flipping tournaments with Mary Ann. She cleaned me out more than once. Or Baseball with the older guys. Developed some pretty good skills early on by hangin' with those guys. One day the guys were playing St. Stan's baseball team from down the road. They were actually an organized team......with uniforms! Remember when The Bowery Boys, aka The East Side Kids would play a local organized team and hijinks would ensue? Yeah.... like that. In that kind of scenario I may or may not get the call. But that day I did. St. Stan's had a pitcher who threw nothin' but heat. He was wild and already had facial hair. I got the call to lead off and man did he look huge. I can't remember his name now but even that was frightening. I stepped in and their catcher said, "Good luck." Pretty sporting, I'd say. I tried to say "Thanks, you too" but my mouth was so dry all I could do was nod and attempt a weak smile and a little bit of spit. I wondered where that annoying clicking was coming from and realized it was my knees banging together. Ah....a time to test my mettle. I actually heard the first pitch whiz by. Strike one! Sounded like a ball to me. On the second pitch I started to swing before he actually let the ball go and danged if I didn't pop it just over second base. I stood proudly on first base as the next three guys struck out. I owned Lurch for the rest of the game. Got two more hits and then he drilled me in the ribs on my last at bat. Accident? I think not. Didn't matter. I laughed all the way to first. Y'know how the pros always downplay their performance and insist it doesn't matter unless the team wins. Never bought that. I don't even remember if we won or lost, but my status shot skyward. It's amazing what confidence can do. It bolstered my little league game, helped in brawls with my sister and even Sr Anne Eucharia didn't seem as intimidating.

And that was the day that my place in the neighborhood changed. I was no longer going back and forth between the older and younger group as much but now had a fairly secure place with the older guys. They were even coming to the door to get me for this or that. Hide and seek, tag etc just didn't seem to do it anymore. But I did notice it was getting more and more interesting to also hang with that other group. Did I mention the girls? I was on W. Sixth St. from Kindergarten to the middle of eighth grade. A lot can happen in that span. I noticed when I was around eleven, twelve, thirteen I was coming up with excuses to be around the girls. And I could be pretty creative. They made me feel ....funny.

I started playing guitar around age twelve and then things really got weird. Nancy lived across the street. She died a few years ago and that gave me pause for reflection. She was always a little more artsy than the rest of the crew and would like to hang out when I was practicing and critique, suggest, sing along and just be Garfunkle to my Simon. She had a great ear. My guitar teacher taught me House of the Rising Sun in E minor. Who does House of the Rising Sun in E minor!!?! Nancy knew it was wrong right off the bat. What could I do? I wouldn't find out about transposing keys for a few years.

And then I moved to Piscataway. Time to navigate among groups once again. Somehow I could always do that. Hang with the Jocks, The Dweebs, the Intelligencia, the...uh...not so intelligencia and the neighborhood guys. All the time keeping my grades right in the meaty part of a solid respectable C. Math always hurt my GPA. I got a D in Geometry, went to summer school and got a......D. C'mon...who can concentrate in the summer!? Especially when the girls in my class were wearing summertime clothes and smelling so good....and....and....

Somehow I've made it to fifty eight and never had to prove why a parallelogram is a parallelogram to anyone. And don't get me started on the Rhombus. I think the message here is don't be afraid to roam among groups. It can be kind of off putting to some people when groups collide but so what!!

Man, I wish I could come up with a really interesting wrap up here but Linda's grandkids have been on the other computer watching "Fred" at an extreme volume and I hate to admit it but....uh....I'm kind of starting to dig it so........how 'bout those Yanks?

Peace.

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...."

I had the most inane, but fascinating discussion the other day. Given the chance, what super hero would you want to be? No, these discussions don't only happen at the Seinfeld coffee shop. It was two other guys and me and as it went on it actually got kind of heated. Guys take their super heroes very personally. But to me it's no contest. Superman can do it all. He just has to avoid Kryptonite in it's various forms. Not as easy as it sounds but worth the trade off. Another guy wanted to be Batman. What!?!? And get this. The other Mensa candidate wanted to be the Flash! They each had their arguments but why bother. Superman trumped them all. I was a DC comics fan and never did the Marvel thing so maybe I don't have all the facts, but they just have no game. Batman's clever, wily, strong, has a great car and hideaway..... and is rich. The flash is .......uh.....fast. Batman wouldn't stand a chance in the Octagon with Superman, and as far as speed....remember the one where Superman crossed the solar system in ten seconds and only lost time because he stopped to save a treed cat? Yes, he even has a super heart. And just use your imagination in regards to his X Ray vision. I could think of only one use for that when I was ten. Granted, I haven't read a Superman comic since around 1967 but unless things have radically changed, he's still my guy. And don't even try comparing the Bat Cave to the Fortress of Solitude.

In the course of blogging I've referenced the Man of Steel a few times. I've come to realize......once again...... it's a guy thing...... kinda like The Three Stooges. I'm sure you've gotten the old, "But why is he always hitting them?" Hey.....BECAUSE HE'S MOE!!!!!!! And forget trying to explain the letdown of a Shemp for a Curly.

I still have a picture of my father and me on the couch, sometime in the late fifties, early sixties staring at the TV. The caption reads "Interested in Superman." My brother got a camera around that time and by default became the historian of life on West Sixth Street. Captions and all. As a fan of Mad magazine he'd try to make them topical/irreverent/ cynical. There's another shot of my sister and me on her bed locked in combat. As usual, I'm on the bottom getting the worst of it as the caption reads "Typical."

My father's main complaint about Superman was he couldn't believe no one knew Clark Kent was Superman. Glasses and a suit? C'mon....I had to agree. But TV in the fifties and sixties demanded a suspension of belief. Why couldn't the professor just patch the hole on the Minnow? Why did the Howells bring a trunk full of clothes and packets of money? Why didn't Gilligan and Mary Ann ever.......or....did they? And remember the one where a camera and film washed up on the island? The castaways decide to make a movie recounting their shipwreck and hoped somebody would find it, put two and two together and come rescue them. Yeah....maybe. Or here's an idea. How about a movie where you stand there with a billboard that says "Help! We were shipwrecked on the Minnow a few years back. We think we're at (I'm sure the professor could come close to a longitude and latitude.) With us are the Thurston Howells (that's how they introduced well to do married couples in those days) and Ginger Grant, the movie star! Come rescue us!!!" Frustrating. But they had a half hour to fill.

The question is why do three guys in their fifties care about superheroes.... or Gilligan's Island...or The Three Stooges...Bewitched.....I dream of Jeannie. (Please.....just once can I see the belly button!!!!! ) Well, it impacted us. As did Combat.....The Rifleman...The New York Yankees and our neighbors, teachers and friends. That's what life is. A series of small meteors leaving their impacts. The St Mary's nuns left many an impact.

Life seems so much faster and more complicated for kids growing up today. They're preparing for college at nine years old. I meet and talk to parents every day and a lot of them are worn out by their kid's life schedule. Overload. But I guess everyone adapts. Most days, when I wasn't in school, my parents may or may not have known where I was till they saw me for lunch or dinner. Certain rules were laid down and I had to loosely roam within those parameters. They were too busy trying to make sure those meals were on the table and the mortgage was paid. Not that there weren't dangers out there. Plainfield, NJ was a volatile town in the sixties and the occasional black eye or bloody nose came with the territory. Is it better today? Worse? Kids standing next to each other texting rather than talking? It is what it is. A trite summation, but there you have it.

Be honest. Is this weird? I spend a lot of time on the road and get involved in these wild fantasies. I'm a Pisces and a dreamer. My teachers reminded me of that on more than one occasion. On a trip down the Garden State Parkway or The NJ Turnpike I can be captured by aliens or stranded on a desert island or asked to join a great blues band. The detail I go into is staggering....as I realize I'm fifteen miles past my intended exit. In my profile I wrote something like "I can't escape this feeling that something wonderful is going to happen." I still feel that every day. Really. Many wonderful things have already happened. I'm a very lucky guy. But I still think that.....hey....what's that bright light in my backyard? Uh oh...they're he-eeere.....?

Peace

OMG....so many people to thank.......where do I begin.....

"Overture....hit the lights.... This is it.....the night of nights." I refer you to the old Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck Fri night show. What kid growing up in the sixties doesn't remember that song?

Well, it's Oscar night. Doesn't affect my life....or probably yours....but I bet we'll watch for awhile. At least the opening. But man, there are people who live and die by this night! In an earlier blog (July 2005) I lamented on the lost art of hitch hiking and the dark turn it seems to have taken. Without rehashing old material, it backs into my brief brush with the Oscars. During Easter break in 1971 my buddy and I decided to hitch from El Paso, Texas to Los Angeles, California. We got there in one ride. He wanted to see an old girlfriend and I just wanted to see California. Our host dropped us off in Hollywood right on the Sunset Strip. It was about 10pm and the marquee across the street at the Whiskey A Go Go read "Tonight....Uriah Heep!! Remember them? The whole scene was reminiscent of Times Square...but with a freakier vibe. After all it was......OSCAR WEEK.......IN HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!

Gidget (seems like there were a lot of Gidgets and Sunshines running around in those days.) and some guy eventually came to pick us up and dropped us off at a mansion in Laurel canyon. As I remember, a friend of Gidget's struck it rich by inventing some new kind of cassette tape or something. A couple of friends were sharing the house, they were all leaving , we had the place to ourselves for the next few days and yes, it was OSCAR WEEK!!!!!! So there we were enjoying sunsets over LA from the expansive deck in the canyon and life wasn't bad. Butch was hanging out with Gidget a lot and I was walking down Laurel Canyon Drive and cruising the strip and other places by day. That sounds a little sleazy, doesn't it? Really, I was just takin' in the sights. The three of us spent one day on the beach with "sunshine" and the Pacific Ocean sparkled and laughed! But everything sparkled. It was OSCAR WEEK!!

A friend of ours from UTEP had a friend who also lived in the canyon and after a few days we moved in with him. He worked on the periphery of the movie industry as did a lot of his friends and life continued to be good. And it was OSC....well......ya know. Our host wasn't around much, Gidget and Butch had a falling out and we were running low on cash. What to do except get jobs as .....gardeners. The guy who owned the place we were staying in hired us to clean out his beds, do some trimming and planting and would pay us enough to fly back to school in Texas. Man, we kept steppin' in it! In the meantime, we had an interesting excursion with a Mexican taxi driver ( also covered in July '05 blog), spent a day frolicking in Griffith Park, and apparently had a number of near misses with California rock stars. There's a great book called "Hotel California" that covers this time in LA...particularly the Laurel Canyon area which was home to the likes of Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, The Mamas and the Papas, Jackson Browne, Crosby, Stills and Nash etc. In my trips down to "the strip" I was always picked up by interesting characters in fast cars. I wonder who they were....hmmmmmm.

But Easter break was over and it was time to get back to school. We were slated to fly out of LAX on OSCAR NIGHT!! One of the gang offered to drive us to the airport and man was he pumped! He was actually going to the Oscar ceremony that night and still took the time to drive us. We met a lot of nice people in LA. Even though the Oscars affected us not a whit it was hard not to get caught up in, or at least witness, the electricity in the California air that night. We almost hated to leave. But you know that feeling in your gut that says "time to leave?" Well, it was there. We were on the brink of overstaying our welcome but got out just in time. From the air Hollywood appeared to be vibrating.

Bill (the friend of the friend) picked us up at the El Paso airport and as we walked through the lobby of our dorm what was blasting off the TV but.........a Dodger game. Hey..... C'mon man ......it's OSCAR NIGHT!! Enjoy the show. Peace.

( Scroll down for updated info on Carrie)

Star Trek...Bruce Lee.....Wisdom

So I got a new guitar last week. It's a Breedlove acoustic/electric and it's like a little slice of heaven. I started doing some solo gigs again and I had to make the move. For a good acoustic guitar these days you have to be looking in the $1,000 range. I was going for a Taylor and had just about decided on one when Mr. Breedlove crossed my path. A done deal.

As I was paying for my guitar at the Guitar Center counter I flashed back to a Saturday afternoon at Gregory's music store in Plainfield, NJ. I was twelve, the year was 1964 and my mother decided she'd spring for my first guitar. Eighteen dollars....with case. The strings were so far off the neck you could....well...they were really far off the neck. I loved that guitar. Developed some real healthy callouses with that baby. About a year later I got my mom to go for my first electric guitar...with case and amp. It was a $50 Crown guitar and a $30 Kay amp and life has never been the same. But the thing with guitars, amps and any musical equipment is.... you always need something else. My problem is I can never 100% focus on one thing. Bass took up a good chunk of time but there was always guitar, dobro, banjo, pedal steel, girls, drums, harp. Jack of all....master of none. Would I do it differently if I could? Probably not. But for now the focus is on the acoustic guitar and learning and refining things I should have learned and refined a long time ago. I was never one for practice. I could and can always play for an hour or two at a shot just for fun which I guess translates into practice. But the serious guys I've met over the years do about six hours a day. Can't do it. The solo venture I've re embarked on has a different slant this time. No backing tracks...just me and a guitar. Very liberating, frightening and a lot more enjoyable. We'll see. Still playing bass in a couple acts and got to play drums last week in a local bar. HOOT!!!! But still looking for that one real solid, steady bass gig. I'm starting to believe it ain't gonna happen. I don't mean Madison Square Garden. Just a 3 or 4 times a month money making, music making, thumping band. I've had it a few times in this life and it spoils you.

But man, I can't complain. Life is good on the river. I wonder where'd I'd be if I'd stayed on the corporate track. A lot more in the 401K but, I'll bet, even more gray hair, an ulcer and a lot of what ifs.

I am one lucky son of a gun. I've really managed to live life, for the most part, on my own terms. If I live too long things could get dicey. But if I take a final bow about when I should, things should be just fine. I had a friend who got through life without ever having a real steady job, lived with his parents till well into his fifties, got some inheritance when they passed away and then died a few years later. I'd always tell him, "Just wait....you're gonna have a tough road in the end. What're ya crazy....no 401K? You'll see!! Well he had the last laugh. Not my choice, but that's what makes a horse race.

As Bruce Lee once said, "The choice is yours, my friend." (He also said, "Be like water." Always liked that one.) I have arguments with some of my liberal friends about this. I've always been a bleeding heart liberal but as time goes on I'm bleeding less and less. Anybody can do anything....if they so choose.....and are willing to work for it. I'm convinced of it, I've seen it, it's my credo. Is it harder for some than others? Is life sometimes unfair? Is the playing field slanted? Do you hate people who ask questions only to answer them in the next sentence? Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes. The question always comes back to me, "Then why aren't you on the Forbes 500, loudmouth?" Never desired it. Period. Believe it or not.

I have an earlier blog in here somewhere about roads taken and not taken so I'll leave that alone. But I like the alternate universe theory that says we live out every possibility somewhere...sometime. Ah...time lines. The things of which Star Treks are made? And the wonderful thing is....no one can say...... with absolute certainty......it ain't so. So, I guess somewhere, sometime, I am.....was..... will be.....center fielder for the NY Yankees. And I do look good in pinstripes.

Peace.

(Scroll down for updated info on Carrie)

Help!!!!!

Linda's daughter, Carrie, is in a hospital in South Jersey. She had complications after delivering a baby girl two weeks ago. She's extremely critical. A large cloud is hanging over life. Please pray for her. Thanks

( Pictured:Carrie, her brother Michael and Linda)

(1 month later, July 19th)

She made it! A long road ahead. Thanks for your support and prayers. It's meant everything!

(Oct 4th, 2009)

Carrie's still in the hospital because of insurance red tape. Probably going home next week with a with a visiting daily nurse. Waiting for the call for a small intestines transplant at The University Of Pittsburgh. Hurdles still ahead.

(Oct 31, 2009)

Carrie's been home and back in the hospital three times. Currently back in Cooper Hospital in Camden. The longest she's been able to stay home without problems developing is about four days. Currently gall bladder problems resulting from her TPN. Waiting for the word from Pittsburgh to go for the evaluation and then transplant. Thanks for your prayers and inquiries.

(Nov, 24, 2009)

Linda and Carrie have been in Pittsburgh for a week and a half now. The insurance issues between NJ, Pittsburgh and Ohio (where Carrie will be staying with her brother, post evaluation) have been a nightmare.Thank God Linda's been on the case correcting everyone's mistakes and making sure things get done. Some of the problems are severe...... like NJ insurance and Pittsburgh insurance unable to decide who will supply her TPN, the intraveneous nutrition that she has to have ten to twelve or more hours a day. She's had to miss a couple of days here and there because of it. Not good! Just one instance, of many, of beauracracy gone wild! She's had some tests and is getting ready for a two week evaluation process . She was in patient till today and is now out patient for the evaluation. Then.....provided the evaluation goes in her favor.....we wait for an available small intestine. As of today Carrie and Linda are living together in housing near the hospital for families of patients. Here's to peace in Pittsburgh!

Dec 30th, 2009

Carrie and Linda are back from their third trip to Pittsburgh. Miles....and miles...... The evaluation is over and now Carrie is, or shortly will be, on the list for a small intestine. The co ordinator seems to think it won't be long.

Jan 19, 2010

Carrie and Linda left for Pittsburgh today at 4:30 am. Carrie has to have some tests that she probably should have had while she was out there during previous visits. She was due to be put on the transplant list anytime and just got the word a few hours ago that she's been listed. Now we wait for the call for an available small intestine. That'll be a good day for us and, unfortunately, a sad day for someone else. Whomever you may be......thank you. So Carrie's there for the duration. She'll be staying in Ohio with her brother, Michael, and his fiancee. They're about an hour away from the hospital and that's a good thing. Once the call comes in she's got to be at the hospital asap. Linda's been a trooper. A great mom and a wonderful partner. We're all lucky to have her in our lives. Seven months ago I promised Carrie this would all be over by Feb 19th. I don't know why I blurted out that date but I just realized that was my grandmother's birthday. Hmmmmm......

Feb 1, 2010

Had the first false alarm last Saturday. In the morning we got a call that a small intestine would be available sometime that day. I had a gig that nite and as I was packing up...around 1 am, I got a call from Linda that Carrie was on her way to the hospital and things were moving. Linda lef, drove all night and hung out at the hospital all day Sunday. The surgery was set for 4 pm. Around 3 pm the doctors decided the match wasn't close enough. The intestine was from a fifteen year old boy. Quite a reality check. His liver would also be donated.

March 13, 2010

This past Tue night the call came in. Linda took off for Pittsburgh around 10 pm. The surgery started around 11 pm and continued till around 11 am. Carrie has a new small intestine, said goodby to a gall bladder and appendix and is doing great this morning. God bless the donor (a nineteen year old Alabama boy) and family. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. A long recovery to come. But this is one feisty chick! Thanks for all your inquiries, prayers and support. Peace.

March 27, 2010

Carrie celebrated her 28th birthday on Mar 17th. She also had another surgery that day to remove a hematoma. She had a second surgery the next day to stop some bleeding. Since then she's responded extremely well to the new intestine and the future looks good.

It's ALL small stuff

Around 1990 I was working at a Tae Kwon Do school in NJ. I'd just left the ulcer inducing fast track of the corporate world and my teacher offered me a gig. I'd warm up classes, teach a few, sell memberships, sweep the floor and do whatever it took to help Master Kwak keep two schools running. Master Kwak exemplified what I though a martial artist should represent. He was calm, reflective.........meditative breathing exercises were part of every class........and extremely skilled in his art. He would only demonstrate his skills during student tests but some of his techniques and breaks were amazing. He had a dry sense of humor, appreciated mine and was a good friend during the time I trained and worked with him. I broke my hand on my black belt test and I remember when I walked into his school with a cast on my arm he looked like he was gonna cry....then laugh...then cry.......ah.........the ultimate yin and yang.

A few weeks later I was preparing to move out of the area and leave the school. I was nervous but excited and Master Kwak and I had a sitdown. He was always good for some words of wisdom. For some reason life keeps reminding me of this conversation. My mom has just died after a long illness. We'd sold her home and I was leaving with no prospects except my band gig...which was doing pretty well at the time. Master Kwak sensed my apprehension and showed me something he'd drawn on a piece of paper he had in front of him. I'd seen it around his office but never thought to ask what it was. It was the Korean character for crisis. He told me the word is made up of two characters....one meaning danger....and the other meaning opportunity. Ahhhhhh.....grasshopper. I can't escape it because that reference never fails to appear at the exact moment of crisis/danger/opportunity etc. Harrowing, or at least, uncertain times, upon reflection, usually turn out to be worth the trip. I've had a few life challenges, just like you, and at this point I can honestly say I wouldn't change a thing. If everything didn't happen as it did I wouldn't be here.....now. And this is right where I want to be. There's still things to do......hopes....dreams.......become a better brother, uncle, friend....partner. And that's what keeps life exciting. The old what the hell is gonna happen tomorrow thing!?!?

I dig getting older. Is that weird? I see things so much more clearly than when I was twenty or thirty. One of the biggest lessons is don't sweat the small stuff, because ultimately it's all small stuff. I can't take credit for that but it's my mantra. Another bit of wisdom I try to live by is the Serenity Prayer. I'm certainly not a religious guy in the traditional sense and not much for traditional prayer but I carry a lot of spirituality around and this one hits home. Google it. How did I become acquainted with it?

The nuns in my grammar school would hit the parents up for the occasional ride to Convent Station, NJ. This was kind of like the mother ship for the Sisters of Charity. My mom got the call one day and I was recruited for the drive along. Turns out....it was my teacher!!!!! I guess I've been more uncomfortable but I can't remember when. As a thank you she gave my mother a small plaque which had the Serenity Prayer on it. My mom seemed very moved and told her that the prayer had always been one of her favorites. I thought she was just shinin' her but apparently she meant it. That prayer hung around the house for the next thirty years. I guess the vibe has passed on because like the sage words of Master Kwak, the Serenity Prayer always seems to pop up right when it's needed. I finally caved and put my own computer generated prayer together, framed it and it's in my music studio helping me to find the divine inspiration needed to write a top ten hit. That and Carole King's Tapestry album. Basically it tells you to be aware and ready when life comes at you. Recognize a good opportunity, etc. Good advice anytime. Clever one liners make life so simple, don't they? If we all lived by the bits of wisdom delivered by the Asian cartoon character in the NY Daily News.....usually right next to the racing results.....life would be beautiful. Every day he's got a gem. It's usually something about open your mouth less and your ears more. I'm stunned that the climate of political correctness in this country has allowed him to continue.

I really hate political correctness. It's just so righteously phony. I remember when Howard Stern was being interviewed by Tom Snyder and lambasted for all his politically incorrect, insensitive and usually right on the money comments. Howard's point was that everybody says or at least, thinks, this stuff. Tom said, "Yeah, but not when the mics are on." Hmmmmmm. I paraphrase..... but you get the point. Knock it off!!!!!! We can take it!!!!!!! Family Guy's my new favorite show. It doesn't apologize for anything and I love that. We're all the family guy to a point..We just don't have the nerve to admit it. Me included. I also love you tube and I'm on facebook. DON'T ask me to Twitter.

Well, a great thunderstorm/hailstorm just started so I have to get outside. First one of the season. And my electricity's bound to go out as it always does so I'd better save........

PS Gig this wknd Fri, Apr 3rd at Tiff's, Rt 31, Clinton NJ with The "High Bridge All Stars." Showtime around 9.

I can't believe I'm still here. So....what's next?!?

I moved a mile and a half downriver last month...and have a new roommate. Y'know, you get to a certain age and stop questioning things as much as you used to. Ten...twenty years ago moving in with a girlfriend would have been a huge emotional crisis deserving of months of thought... what ifs...etc. Linda said she could make a comfortable home for us. No pressure. I took her word for it and danged if she hasn't made a wonderful home for us. I like to think I helped, but when it comes to window treatments and rugs.....and home stuff...... I'm like a new born pup blindly struggling in the dark. She MADE curtains. Well, not curtains.... but those things that hang at the top of windows. All I know is I heard a sewing machine and....BANG....things on windows. I came home one night and there's a long rug in the hallway. And it looks just like the rug in the living room! What ? How? (Did you know that the hall rug is called a runner? Go figure)

I have all my recording stuff set up. ITunes has said I can send them my music and....life goes on. Gotta find a band. This is the longest I've gone without a steady gig and it's a little scary. I've been doing some pick up gigs here and there but I need that steady thing. Looking at a calendar and seeing Fris and Sats blocked out is a reassuring feeling. Particularly the way the economy is. I've always used music as a second source of income and there's no time like the present. I can't remember when I wasn't in a band. How do people not be in a band? What do they do?

I went to see some old pals the other night. The Doughboys. Great sixties style band. The drummer was on my little league team, the bass player was my paper boy...you get the idea. They're from my old hometown of Plainfield, NJ. They're a couple of years older so we never hung out back in the day but they were neighborhood guys who got a jump on the band thing around 1965 or so ......played for a number of years ....reformed a couple of years ago and there you have it. Same song list. Same lineup. Very Yardbirds. (See Yardbirds pic. Can you name them....hmmmm?) Their guitar player, Willie, had some problems and died two years ago......great guitarist. Another guy slipped in and.... gig on, boys. This place I saw them the other night used to be called The Hullabaloo in the 60's. NJ had a chain of Hullabaloos. One of the guys from The Doughboy's had a poster of them playing there...on the same stage...in 1967. I used to go there all the time to see some great local bands. At the time the best I could do was high school dances, parties, etc.

I played full time for a number of years and the thing I remember most is how proud I felt when people asked and I would tell them I was a musician. It always got a reaction. And you could see that look in their eyes as they hearkened back to their high school band, or the marching band, or even piano lessons from the lady down the street. That look of....what if.......? But don't worry.......the grass is always greener. You're right where you're supposed to be. I believe that.

Right now I'm pretty sure I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Living on the Musconetcong River in Finesville, Warren County, NJ, with a beautiful woman who, for some odd reason, seems to really like me........ watching the geese and the birds, and the occasional fox....searching for that ever elusive perfect band.......writing music.....hustling people around by day....entertaining...or not....people on the radio one morning a week........thanking God for putting me right here, right now....celebrating my health...trying to treat the world and the people in it as well as I can...... and being extremely optimistic about the future. Why?......... WHY NOT?? Peace.

PS Gigging at Mrs Riley's in High Bridge, NJ the Sat before St Patty's day with some old pals. C'mon out. I'll buy you a green beer.

"Wasn't....isn't....this a time....?

Just in case you've been on an archaeological dig deep in a cave in South America for the last year.........we've just had one mama jamma of an election!!! This was fun!!!!! I'm not a "political junkie" but keep just well enough informed via the Daily News, the NJ Star Ledger, the internet, talk radio and the nightly news to realize that no one really "knows". And there's a lot of agenda driven opinion out there. I think the checks and balances of our system, within the houses of government, for the most part, work. The old,"Say, what's that guy up to?" The gentlemen from the Continental Congress would be proud, and grateful, I'll bet, that their plan has held up. But I think keeping the other guy honest has taken a nasty turn into trying to stop the other guy in his tracks....even sabatoging him. No one will admit it but I'm here to tell you....the emperorer has no clothes!!!!!! Both sides do it.

Look, I've been a bleeding heart liberal most of my natural life but I'd have to be blind and deaf not to see that the media in this country is indeed....uh oh......LIBERAL!!!! Most talk radio is conservative. Most tv and print is liberal. Like it or not, that's the way it is, man. And knock it off with this fairness doctrine stuff. Guess what? Ratings rule. So waaaaaaaa!!!!! Cry me a river. My own bleeding heart has moved more and more to the middle as I've grown older and...wiser? Wiser meaning being able to see that everyone in politics is a con artist. A lot of these folks have good hearts and intentions ....ON BOTH SIDES..........but con artists nonetheless.

I remember when I was about twenty one and playing a gig in my hometown. One of the local politicos was there shaking hands and kissing babies. I kinda knew this guy and we were chatting about some of his plans...... which had drastically changed. I asked why and he gave me my first lesson in politics 101. He said he had to first pay back favors (not his word) to the people/groups that helped get him elected. Then he could get to his agenda, which, he assured me, he would. That was an eye opener. Favors, paybacks and the putting of one's own plan on the back burner can only intensify with the size and importance of the office. Which is why, I think, you.......I....had to look at the personality......and why my liberal finger, under direction from my liberal heart, pushed the button for John McCain. I asked myself one question. Who would I want standing next to me in a barfight? And there you have it. McCain's whole pow experience and his refusing to leave when given the chance spoke to me. I went Democratic the rest of the ticket but the prez was a righty. I mentioned this on my weekly radio show and heard from a bunch of irritated liberals. I had to say don't worry....be happy....you won. I'm cool....please join me. Because I thought all along that no matter the outcome it's a win/win situation. We have either the first African American president or the first woman Vice president. Either way, life goes on and my life, or yours, isn't gonna change a whole lot. It's akin to my feelings when the Yanks lose the World Series. Ahhhh dangit.....and......back to work........ 'cuz here comes the rent again.

My conscience dictated McCain, but this is.......ok. What say we get behind Barack. Keep a watchful eye, but could we stop the sniping, gotcha crap......the living in the past and depressing projections? Well if Bush didn't...well if Clinton didn't....if George the first didn't ....if Reagan....if Carter ......if.....STOP!!!!!!!! The guy hasn't even taken the oath yet. Like the bumper sticker says, "Either push, pull or get the hell out of the way." But c'mon...let's not throw tacks in front of his tires. Obama's failure means success for the right...just as Bush's failures mean success for the left. We've got to temper this crap.

Which brings me to this. When did my people, the left, lose their sense of humor and become the crotchety old men of the sixties? I was raised on Mad magazine, National Lampoon, Monty Python, Saturday Night Live and still have the occasional flashback to prove it. Ahhh....when the sunshine was orange. We've become Big Brother. The Democratic conventioneers seemed a little miffed and put out while the Republicans seemed.....dare I say it......fun......a party. And they were losing! I still love political incorrectness...with NO apology. The Family Guy is my new hero. What happened? Who threw the switch? Look, man, we're all in this together and as the late, great Jim Morrison once said, "No one here gets out alive." And wouldn't it be cool to see, just once, if we did all pull together, what we could do? That doesn't mean cave in or surrender your positions.... but argue from a position of tolerance and betterment....... for everyone. Can I get a Kumbaya? And Move On. org....you can stop your e mails now. They were getting a little creepy.

I was driving around on election day and covered a lot of ground. I voted for McCain early. But the turnout I saw doesn't jive with what I'm hearing on talk radio. Would it kill you to admit that a helluva lot of people turned out? Maybe it was only in my neck of the woods here in NY, NJ and Pa....but it was wild! There was definitely a feeling in the air. To quote Stephen Stills, "There's something happening here. What it is, ain't exactly clear."

So I'll deliver the same mantra now that I did eight years ago when my guy didn't win then, either. Watch, be wary, be skeptical, challenge, but when Barack falls down, which he occasionally will, how 'bout rather than putting a foot on his back we put our hand out and help him up. He's ours for four years. The dems have it all. Let's see what we can do.

Election day, and the events of the following days made me proud to be here and be involved enough to at least have have contributed what I felt was a considered vote. I was proud to be an American. Not necessarily proud of a lot of things America has done, but proud to be..... an American.....with a drippingly sarcastic apology to my college professors. ( I once wrote a paper supporting the Vietnam war for my conservative professor and one decrying the war for my Liberal professor. I got A's on both! And, if you hadn't noticed, I ain't no Hemingway. Am I a cynical sob, or what?!?!) This is an amazing thing we have....this peaceful transfer of power every four years. Seeing all the faces on the front pages and across tv screens.... the faces of people covered in tears.....people that may have been the target of dogs, hoses, clubs or worse, a mere forty years ago was....well.... moving. I don't know how anyone couldn't have been moved.

So buck up, John. You're a classy guy who ran a really atrocious campaign. I'll still pick you to be at my back when glasses start being thrown. Is the playing field now..... even? Probably not. But I think the slope is slowly decreasing. Peace.