Monday, May 04, 2020

"I'm ready for my close up.....Wait...no...back up....back up!"


     Celebrity. What an odd concept. Particularly for the person on the receiving end. I guess it's just something that's always been there. The Neanderthals in one cave probably heard about a Neanderthal a few caves down who could ignite a fire quicker than anyone, hunt down food at the drop of a hat and.….oh yeah....was pretty popular with the ladies. And he somehow made a substance that allowed him to paint on walls. An artist. (swoon) If any of the boys had a problem with that he'd be glad to chat about it anytime, anywhere. Celebrity. What were the chances of the average American meeting George Washington, Ben Franklin or Thomas Jefferson....or even knowing what they looked like? Slight. Politicians working for US was the concept back then. Senators and Congressmen would leave their farms for a week or a month to serve the new democracy, come up with and vote on new bills, hash it all out and then return home. Can you say term limits?  What happened?
     The chasm between us and them... celebrities... seems to have shrunk. During the pandemic of 2020 celebrities are coming to us from their living rooms, dining rooms and kitchens.  Hey look! Tom Hanks has a dishwasher….just like me! Well, of course he does. He's a human being....just like me. He's got, what I might call, a deserved notoriety; a string of cool movies sometimes paralleling our own lives, a long successful marriage and a likeability and self deprecating manner that makes it seem like he's as surprised as anyone that he's one of the chosen. The nice guy celebrity goes a long way with us. The "Let them eat cake - don't bother me" attitude....not so much. But do they owe us anything? You might say, well, that's the life they've chosen. Deal with your big house and swelled bank account. Waaaaaa! I've seen interviews where an actor will say they love the art and skill of acting and were not at all prepared for the celebrity aspect. Waaaaaa…. again? Navigating the ins and out of fame calls for a different skill set. How many times in a day does Tom Hanks get stopped by a fan who just wants to say hello or have a three minute conversation about what Private Ryan or Bosom buddies meant to them? Seinfeld's "Mr Peterman" says he gets stopped at least a hundred time a day. He says Jerry told him that his life was going to change the day after his first appearance aired. It did. And the irony is that "Mr Peterman," Tom Hanks etc may be very nice to the first one hundred people but by one hundred and one maybe they're a little wiped and not quite as giving as we'd like. The nerve. And that's the story Mr/Ms 101 will be telling about said celeb for the rest of their life. Fair? Life's not fair. 
     So there's the person that's in it for the art and the person that's in it for what the art will bring. I remember as a kid reading a Sports Illustrated quote from Dick Stuart, professional baseball player. I'm paraphrasing but this is pretty close. "I crave fame. I want to walk down the street and have people say, Jesus, there goes Dick Stuart!" I still remember it so I guess it impressed me. He had a 264 batting average and helped the Pirates upset the Yankees in the 1960 World Series. He probably got his share of recognition. I hope he enjoyed it.
     I was a full time musician throughout the seventies and into the eighties. I'm still at it part time. I've had a Thursday morning radio show for almost thirty years. Between successful band gigs and radio events, I've had and enjoyed the occasional" big fish in a small pond" thing. Anyone who's ever played at a CYO dance or wedding or local dive has had the "big fish in a small pond" thing. I've given about ten or fifteen autographs in my life always reminding the recipient, "Remember, someday this'll be worth nothing." I've had people slapping me on the back as I made my way to the crowded bar never having to pay for a drink or tried to have three or four conversations at a radio event with fans of my radio show. It's nice. It's familiar. I've appreciated it, enjoyed it and haven't had a negative experience yet. But when the event's over....it's over. That small, small taste of celebrity is nice. It feels good. Man, that all sounds very pretentious and I don't mean it to be. The point is I got into music because I loved it and it seemed like a cool way to make a living. I picked up a radio show because it was fun and led to music gigs. The saying goes,"Do what you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life." Paraphrasing.
     I was a full time limo driver till the pandemic "temporarily" retired me. Limo life led to a crossing of the paths with a number of celebs. The reality is.... they're us. We're them. They have two eyes, a nose and a mouth and they're own set of challenges. Everyone I've met has been very nice in that practiced kind of way. I met SNL's Joe Piscopo at JFK some years ago. Actually I noticed his gorgeous wife first then spotted him. In this situation I'll usually give a "How ya  doin'" and keep moving. I don't really have anything to say to them and they certainly don't have anything to say to me. As I was walking by the Piscopos I just gave a quick wave. Joe put his bag down, put his hand out and with a big grin said, "Nice to see ya," He seemed like it was really nice to see me. I've gotten to know him on a professional basis over the years and he is one of the nice guys. And it seems he never met a benefit he didn't like. He says he has a hard time saying no. I've seen Bruce Springsteen out at the bars two or three times over the years. He gives off an approachable vibe. People come up, chat for a minute, maybe offer to buy him a drink and move on. He's the boss. I've seen videos of Paul McCartney walking the streets and meeting fans. He always seems cordial, signs autographs, gives a snippet of a conversation and continually suggests, "C'mon love, let's keep walking." He knows what happens when he stops walking. He seems to be a guy who enjoys being Paul and the celebrity that comes with it. I know a British guy who was on the Wings sound crew. He said Paul loved being in a band and never seemed happier than when he was playing old rockers during sound checks. I think meeting Paul would create a "homina homina" moment for me. He was/is such a large part of my life. 
     Then there's guys like Elvis, Michael Jackson or Prince who hunker down, stay away from the public and rent out the amusement park or movie theater for them and their pals. Nothing wrong with that. And it is a dangerous world with people who are up to no good.  I met Julian Lennon on the streets of NYC one morning. I'd heard he was on one of the morning shows and I was a few blocks away. I pulled up just as he was coming out. I gave him a few minutes and as he was getting ready to get into a car I strolled up stuck my hand out and said, "Nice to meet you Julian. Love the new cd." He shook my hand and said, "Thanks mate. Thanks." I thought I noticed a bit of a start and thought maybe he's not one you should walk up to and surprise. I forgot. But he was a very pleasant bloke and I never did hear the new cd.
     Then there's the undeserved notoriety. I guess the Kardashians are the poster family for that. The rip on them is that they're famous for being famous. Well, they've had a very successful reality TV run, made inroads in all facets of fashion and if you look a little deeper have shown a philanthropic side that doesn't get much press. Should we blame them for being famous and probably being more than a little out of touch with reality. But that IS their reality. And they're in touch with that. Then there's the Jersey Shore crew, assorted housewives from around the country, various talent shows, hookup shows and contestant type reality shows ala Big Brother or Survivor. Financial rewards can sometime follow. I've heard people say, "I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better." Maybe. But money can't buy happiness. Have you heard that one? Fame, if that's what someone's after, is a lot more accessible now. Something usually has to be brought to the table, a talent of some kind, but not always. Sometimes the idea seems to be to simply embarrass.  If they feel that's worth it for a payday, go ahead.  And what does that say about the viewer. I'm not above a good dose of reality TV. Loved Ozzy! Loved Bonaduce!  But a lot of it does leave me shaking my head.
     Back in the heyday of Hollywood and the studios the chance of approaching John Wayne or Marilyn Monroe was unthinkable. I can't imagine Clark Gable speaking to us from his kitchen with the dishwasher running in the background. Did they have dishwashers in the thirties or forties? Now with the advent of Facebook, Instagram (not sure what that is) and youtube everyone has the capability of becoming a celebrity in any number of ways. Some involve the cuteness of kids or animals, a talent of some kind, sustained injuries or entertaining rants. I've been known to get caught up in any number of youtube loops. If you liked THAT....you're really gonna like THIS. No apologies.  So where does that leave us? I think it was back in the fog of the sixties when someone said or wrote, "In the future everyone will have their fifteen minutes of fame." Paraphrasing Andy Warhol? Truman Capote. Maybe it will come to the point where everyone is famous for a minute but then the effort will be to strive for anonymity. There are those who have no use for the grid and wander off. That's become a lot harder to do and though I'm not a big believer in "the end is near,"  the pandemic of 2020 does give one pause. And if it's anonymity you're looking  for just put your mask on. And KEEP it on.  In the words of the late, great James Dean (celebrity) "The life you save could be mine." He died shortly after in a car crash. Stay safe. Watch out for each other.    Peace.